Starting Over Again

2 years & 3 weeks ago, I traveled across the country to start anew after being dumped by a coward who I thought I was going to marry after being together for 4-1/2 years. He's now married & has a baby with my friend who I relied on heavily throughout the breakup. Now I have parted ways with my boyfriend of almost 2 years...2 years from the 28th of March I met him & started chatting with him and making plans to meet up. He was a catch then...Handsome, sweet, in the military with a lot of potential...a lot of things changed in the last 2 years and here I am left holding broken pieces and picking up my life again. Yet I can honestly not sigh with complete relief. I loved him, still do. Loved him more than the coward...I just can't marry him as he stands in front of me at this time. I have things I need to work on too, I need to focus on me for once. I won't go into detail on all the particulars though but our breakup is killing me right now...

I did get to keep Timon who steals my heart every day & I cannot disappoint him. He has a bit of big dog syndrome. He has learned to play with a mastiff & Lady his best friend who is a black lab. He's not yippity or mean unless you look shady, then he gets protective of me. He surfs in the back window of my car & is the ultimate cuddlebug. He rains kisses every opportunity he can get. He's trying to get used to the new place & keeps looking for his daddy...

Nights are the worst...During the day I can keep busy & with moving I have lots to organize and do. Trying to push forward and enjoy the little things in life right now. Throwing myself into crafting and creating things and being able to focus on me for once. For the first time I'm living on my own...not with my parents (my sister doesn't count) or living with a boyfriend. I'm finally going back to school after putting it off for so long.

2012!

2012...The year we're all going to die according to the Mayans & the presidential election! Yea! not really.

The world ending in 2012, I believe is true in a different regard.(Still think the Mayans just ran out of space) The world as we know it, like when we were children, has changed drastically. The EU is crumbling, economies faltering globally, dictators are coming & going, wars have had to be forged and certain groups seem to want to be violent on a massive scale and people have lost their marbles/brains.

I've taken a hiatus from politics and if you know me that's kinda crazy. I still watch the news once in awhile (sick of hearing about Obama & nothing but bad news), read my political books, read drudge report & if the conversation turns to politics, I'll join in but not as spirited as I used to be. I haven't even decided who I'm voting for...just starting my research...and yes I research who I want to be my commander in chief and the representative of myself & my country.

I've found an amazing site full of DIY ideas, recipes & other odds and ends that has inspired me. Part of my new Year's resolution is to try to do at least 4 or more things from my pin boards a month! Right now cutting wine bottles with nail polish remover & string is on the list for this week. ;0)& with my new sewing machine it will be loads of fun, making things for myself & others. I'm excited to get my creative side back!

Update

An event can change how you look at your life at its current state, you can choose to remain the same or change. I choose change. Not drastic like get married or pregnant (Like someone) but I did move halfway across the country, I got a job in an industry I'm not familiar with, I lost 20 pounds, & I found a man who appreciates me & makes me smile, & I've gotten a place with him. ♥ Life is good. We may have to pinch some pennies and the dollar store & thrift stores are our friends at the moment. But its all worth it.

Trying to find the silver lining in this rain cloud that refuses to leave me

So since the Tuesday after Labor Day, the following has transpired:

Laid off
Former employer issues
Had issues with VEC
Navigator cord die while lost in D.C.
Gotten very little bites as far as jobs
Lost my favorite Pair of jeans
Had a flea issue with our pets
Gotten in an accident
Got a citation
Have a rental car for 2 weeks
Have Jury Duty summons
Got Erik's Training Dates
Had the cats flight get canceled
Had the fire alarm go off, minor smoke in the oven & then had to explain everything to fire department
Unemployment interview
Single after 5 years with my soldier
Car door broken, & car battery died
Moving to Colorado
Dog going to have to be put down & cats given away for 8 months or for good

Trying to see the upside & to stay busy:
Time for me
Finishing my Associate's Degree
New place to explore
New slate
I get my own bathroom
I get to wake up to the Mountain view every morning with my coffee
Lose weight (elevation & exercise)
Long Haired Chihuahua?
Zena gets rest in peace, after a long 15 years of love.

moving?

So I have a tough choice to make:
1) to live in my house, keep my 2 cats & dog, get the master bedroom, know how to work everything, know the neighborhood, share a bathroom with everyone, not have to pay a security deposit or pet deposit, and live with one or two strangers & Erik, and have my parents as our landlord.
2) Live with my boyfriend and his best friend & girlfriend in a townhouse like mine, get the entire basement, own bathroom, yet have to give up a cat as girlfriend is deathly allergic to cats, pay a security deposit, pay a pet deposit & have some stranger be our landlord.

The price of freedom & independence...=/

"Gone" Barack Obama

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Noah

Noah is Erik's (my boyfriend) nephew, he's 5 months old and on April 20th was shaken by his daycare provider (who is now in jail after turning herself in). We almost lost him, but he's in the NICU and we're praying and can't wait for him to get better. Don't know the full extent of his injuries, it'll take time for his wounds to heal and for them to determine the long term effects on him. Trying to take every day, one step at a time.

Please continue to pray for Noah, and to the Bauer & Whitmer family.

There is a website to show support and prayers and to bring to light this horrible incident that happens too much in the world.

http://www.noahsroad.com